I must admit, since getting pregnant with baby #2 I've been experiencing a lot more working mom guilt than I did in the past year.
I'm sure it's a combination of all different things.
Pregnancy hormones just make me more emotional.
Pregnancy fatigue makes me not want to do anything.
I've been working 5 days a week instead of 4 like I was for the first 9 months or so I was back to work after Calvin was born.
Thinking about the future.
Mornings suck. I've even been going in to get Calvin 15 minutes earlier so we have extra time to spend together. It's almost like that backfires though. The more time I spend with him in the morning, the more I don't want to leave him. Instead of just rushing to get us both ready and in the car, where I don't have much time to think about the fact that I'm not going to be with him all day.
Evenings suck. I just want to relax, but the house is a mess, dinner needs to be made, regular laundry and diaper laundry need to be done, and I want to spend time with both Cal and Justin. And there's only 2-3 hours to spend together before bedtime!
Calvin feels it too. He is very clingy in the mornings and wants to be held the entire time, so it's hard to actually get things ready for the day. In the evenings he can be the same way. He's not even content to sit in his high chair next to me while I cook dinner, he wants to be in my arms. And believe you me, I'm all for baby-wearing, but this guy is a toddler now. And he's a giant one at that. Putting him in a carrier is no fun. So we must accomplish many things one handed.
And perhaps one more thing that makes it suck even more is that my husband and I have decided that I will be able to stay home with babies 3 & 4 once we have become financially stable under Calvin and new baby. I feel guilty that the future babies are going to get to spend more time with me than my current babes.
So what is a momma to do?
I understand I'm very fortunate to even have SAHM status on the radar. Some moms don't get the opportunity. But also, it's not like SAHMs are spoiled like their family is well off to be able to afford to have one parent at home, I don't think that's the case at all. It takes determination to set a strict budget and make it work. Justin and I are working our butts off for the next couple years to get our family into the best financial situation possible. Justin has a good job but we're not making a ton of money. It's going to take a lot of work to get to where we want to be, then to keep our strict budget and make it work on one income as well.
If I were to quit work now, it would put us in a financial bind that we don't want to be in at this point and for years to come. It would be selfish of me to quit now when we're realistically looking at financial freedom in just 2-3 years. So I know I have to choose what's best for the whole family unit, not just my own guilt.
So I shouldn't complain because I know it will happen one day, but in the meantime, some days are just hard.
Thank you for listening.