How We Paid Off Our House in Less Than 5 Years

If you're looking for the #1 best tip ever for paying off your mortgage quickly, this is how we did it:

Make your mortgage the #1 priority. 

We made our mortgage payment our number one. Every month deciding what we can pay on the mortgage was our biggest budget decision. It was NEVER just another payment.
When we sat down to create a budget, the mortgage payment was everything leftover after bills, food, etc.
Every single dollar over what we needed to survive, we put toward the mortgage.

Background:

We bought our house in May of 2015 and got married one month later. We had zero debt before we moved in together and we both lived at home with our parents. 

We didn't have a big wedding. It definitely cost us less than $500, but I can't remember exactly what it came out to. We got married at the courthouse, I ordered my wedding dress on Ebay for like $30 after finding the dress I liked at the mall and trying it on. We held the reception in my parents' beautiful, big backyard. My parents gifted us the food, we had a buffet and a table full of my mom's homemade pies! My mom helped me with decorations, it was a rustic theme with like mason jars and burlap, etc. My husband borrowed the chairs and tables from his work. We got a couple kegs, that was actually the biggest expense haha. And we wouldn't have changed a thing, it was perfect. My only regret is that we didn't film it! 

The house we bought was a foreclosure, and we got a great deal on it at $103k, and we put $1,000 as our downpayment. We got a 15 year mortgage, and our monthly payment was about $1,000. We also live in the rural midwest, so things are cheap here. Just 10 miles east and the house would have cost us an extra $50k, but lucky for us my husband's parents already lived in this town and my parents owned property here too where they planned to move in the coming years anyway. So living in this town wasn't a big sacrifice for us, even though my husband works 50 miles away in the city. 

My dad gave us this tip: buy a house you can afford on one income, that way if either of us were to lose our job, we'd still be able to afford it. That's how we were able to more than double our monthly payments and pay it off so quickly. 

We did some work on the house before moving in too. We got new flooring in some places, painted everything, graded and seeded the yard, and other little things here and there. We got our appliances on Craigslist. And since we got married soon after we moved in together, we waited on a lot of the small kitchen appliances and dishes, etc. because we knew we'd get a lot of those as wedding gifts. We literally owned two plates and two bowls from the dollar store for that first month of our marriage. Justin actually got me a pots and pans set for Christmas the year before we knew we'd be moving out, our parents and grandparents got us glasses and silverware, etc that Christmas before so we had been slowly getting ready to move out for awhile. We had also been accumulating random furniture during our years still living with our parents too. 

We made some bigger purchases, but nothing too crazy. We did need a lawnmower when we first moved out, so we got one with 0% interest and had it paid for in three months. We bought an entertainment center for the living room in that first year, and a new couch in 2018 right before Eren was born. We replaced our Craigslist washer and dryer when the Craigslist dryer went out, but got a big discount on them because they were returns. 

So we had been preparing to move out for awhile. 

These are all the things we did to pay off our house in under 5 years:

• Budget - we recorded everything - we stuck to a general budget every month for essentials. We went through strict phases, and lenient phases, but I definitely still find value in simply recording what we're spending money on. It keeps my husband and myself accountable to one another, and it helps us at least be able to see if we are in the ball park. Since we use credit cards, it helps us see what the following month is going to look like in our bank account. We stuck to a monthly total budget. It's not like we were only allowed X amount in particular categories, we just didn't go over our monthly allowance overall. If it was the last weekend of the month and we wanted to go out for dinner, we didn't do it if we were getting close on the monthly budget total. More info below. 
• No cable - with cheap streaming services like Netflix, paying for cable just doesn't make sense for our family. We have an antenna for the basic TV channels, plus a couple streaming services, and that's all for TV.
• No gym membership - we own weights, a yoga mat, and have shoes for walking.
• Packing lunches - that's a no-brainer for us. Yeah, it's nice to eat out, but it's not worth it to us. My husband keeps a loaf of bread, peanut butter, and jelly at work. And we both take leftovers occasionally. 
• Limited monthly subscription boxes - when we both lived at home, we had several subscriptions. Over time, we realized those were mostly junk, so we got rid or them. 
• No other debt - no student loans, no credit card debt. I was fortunate enough for my parents to pay for my education and my husband bought his car before we got married. 
• Speaking of credit card debt - Credit cards are good for rewards points and they are more convenient than carrying cash - that's why we use them. I actually save up all of my credit card points to use in January after Christmas time, I usually have about $100 to use on the next credit card statement to help ease the extra cost of Christmas presents. When I got my very first credit card at 16, my dad made it very clear that credit cards are only for convenience. You simply do not put something on your card that you can't pay for right now. Credit cards are short term loans. And by short term, I mean one month until your statement comes. 
• No car payments - Yes, my car is old (2002), but it still works and I don't drive very far. My husband bought his car new before we got married, borrowed the money from my dad, and paid it off in a few months with interest. We don't think it's necessary to have a new car every couple years like so many average, everyday Americans. A new (to us) car for me is the next big purchase we have planned though. 
• Meal planning and limited grocery trips, plus sticking to the shopping list. When you go to the grocery store with a list in hand, you're just less likely to buy a bunch of junk that's bad for your body and your budget. 
• Cook from scratch - I like to think we have a very nice balance of home-cooked stuff and not. We eat out maybe every other week. We eat totally made from scratch dinners, or frozen pizza, and everything in between. 
• Home improvement budget always came from our tax refunds. We have finished our basement, poured a new patio, built a shed, done some flooring, and landscaped at our home, but we always waited to use our tax refunds to pay for those home improvements. My husband is also really handy and we were fortunate enough to have a lot of help from relatives to do our home improvement projects too. Remember to help out your friends and family whenever they need you and they'll be more likely to help you out one day too.
• My husband's Christmas bonus = Christmas present fund 
• Large amounts of extra money go to the mortgage: any leftover tax refund money or other bonuses from work go straight to the house. 
• No vacations - this hasn't exactly been intentional, we just didn't want to take trips with tiny babies these last few years. 
• We did make one stock investment that helped us. We invested a little over $13k, which grew to $28k in a couple of years.
• We had two kids. That might not sound like a budget friendly thing to do, but I personally attribute a lot of our progress to having to grow up and worry about more than just ourselves. I stopped spending so much money on myself, I didn't buy a new outfit every week, or all the latest makeup palettes. I realized life was now bigger than myself. Plus, we just had less time for fun shopping or going out. Ha! We also were very fortunate to have a TON of hand-me-downs for the kids. 
• We never had an emergency fund. Our extra payments were our "savings." For example, if we needed a new water heater, we would put it on a credit card, then pay less on the next month's mortgage payment, and pay off the water heater on the card. We had this extra money already built into our mortgage payments. And if we needed something even bigger, the way we saw it, we could borrow it from either of our parents. It never came to that and of course, that's not feasible for everyone, but that was our philosophy. Sometimes we may have had a few hundred dollars saved, but an emergency fund was not constant in our household.

The Nitty Gritty:
Our income has varied a lot.
My husband does work on salary, but when I was working, I ranged from full time (4 days/wk, 9 hr days) to super part time (3-4 days per month).
Estimates:
Our income together (when I worked full time May 2015-Nov 2018): $3750-4500/month
Our income together (when I worked part time Nov 2018-Oct 2019): $3100-3375/month

$2500 mortgage 66%
$400 groceries 11%
$250 gas 7%
$460 utilities and subscriptions (everything from car insurance and water, to internet and Netflix) 12%
$140 other (gifts, entertainment) 4%
Total spending before mortgage: $1250
Percentages based on $3750/month average.

So I knew we needed $1250 just to survive the month (without accounting for the mortgage). So at the beginning of the month when the mortgage was due, we'd just account for that $1250, and everything else went straight to the mortgage. 
Our average mortgage payment was around $2,000-$2,500 every month. 

And all of this is the reason why I'm now able to stay home with my kids. We made these sacrifices so I could be a stay at home mom without having financial worries. 

This was our goal: I would work while we had two kiddos, then I'd be able to stay home with the two next babies (we've always wanted four kids). And we even got to accomplish that early because we won't be having baby #3 for another year or more. 

I'm not here to tell you this is what you need to do to pay off your mortgage quickly, I'm just telling you these are the steps we took. This is just what we implemented to make it our priority. Every family is unique. I do hope this was helpful in some way. 

Love,

Alaina

I Am Feeling Lost

Today, let's talk about feeling lost.

I started feeling what I referred to as some seasonal depression in February, but it took me until the end of April to finally come to terms with the fact that it maybe wasn't that "seasonal." Even with spring in full swing, I still wasn't feeling any happier.

I've been working outside the house very part time (once every 10 days or so), while babysitting a friend's little girl since mid-November.

So I was trying to narrow down what was causing the depression and my husband and I both felt like I needed a change. So I decided to start with the babysitting. It was just getting to be too much for me. Three under three is no joke. And the two littlest are only six months apart. Being surrounded by babies, unable to leave the house while I was babysitting (because we don't have a car to accommodate everyone), I felt like a prisoner in my own home.

Then, someone at work went on vacation, so they asked me to come in a little more. That week, I worked three days, still babysitting on my two days off. And let's just say that week sucked. But it taught me that I definitely didn't want to go back to working outside the home full time.

But since telling my friend I was ready to stop watching her daughter at the end of April, I've felt this huge weight off my shoulders. I don't feel like I'm back to normal, but I definitely feel better. So at least I know I'm taking steps in the right direction here.

So I'm stuck in this limbo. I don't want to work full time. I don't want to babysit anymore.

And to make things more confusing, things at work are changing too.

And my husband and I are so close to having our house paid off. Every single dollar counts and the more you work, the more money you make, right? So I feel conflicted about how much to work outside the home.

All I hope is that I'm able to find a good middle path where I can still be with my babies more than not, and work enough for some adult interaction without neglecting my household responsibilities.

Love,
Alaina

My Journey to Becoming Vegan : Two Months In

Roasted zucchini and sweet potato, with tomato, lemon juice, olive oil, seasonings, chia seeds, on spinach and romaine lettuce. It was sooo good. I love eating it warm, when the sweet potato and zucchini come straight out of the oven. 

I've been on this vegan journey for over two months now. Here's a little update.

I have lost seven pounds, but I'm also nearly 5 months postpartum, so I can't attribute the weight loss to the diet change, it's much more likely that it's just the baby weight slowly, but surely, coming off.

I feel more motivated to work out. I enjoy doing yoga. I love thinking about how animals are not fueling my energy. I feel more at peace.

I feel really good when I go grocery shopping. My cart is just so much healthier these days (even though I'm still buying meat for my husband).

I'm still not fully vegan because we have stuff in the house I want to use up, not just throw out. I've already given away sooo much stuff to my sister too.

I am still looking for some alternatives. Like Cheez-its. I see that Earth Balance has one but it's not at any of my local stores. Justin and Cal have been on a Cheez-its kick lately and I wish we had an alternative we could all enjoy.

Finally got some unfrosted Poptarts for Calvin and he eats them just the same! That's a #momwin haha.

Learned about a ton of vegan junk food at Aldi's from THIS video from Caitlin Shoemaker.

Went out to a fully vegan/vegetarian restaurant and it was awesome. It made me kind of wish we lived in the city instead of the middle of freaking nowhere haha. It was awesome looking at a full menu knowing I could have anything I wanted!

I mention all the time that I can't wait to see restaurant menus in 10 or 20 years. I get excited to see vegan/vegetarian options coming to all restaurants! Why is there not a veg section on every menu?!

The vegan selection at my middle of nowhere Walmart is surprising. If you looked at us on a map and saw all the farmland for miles and miles, you probably never would have thought our Walmart would have tofu, Field Roast cheese, or Gardein chicken tenders! I did not have high hopes for my first vegan trip to Walmart, that's for sure. But I was pleasantly surprised.

I like to think I'm setting a good example for my family. Not just my boys and my husband, but my parents, my sisters. 

I like to think I can raise the boys vegan one day. Maybe I have a better shot with Eren since he's still a tiny baby. Calvin's two and he sure has his preferences already, he's even pickier than his father! The things that worry me about the boys are 1. milk, and 2. the grandmas. So #1, Calvin only nursed until he was 15 months old. He still needed to be drinking milk after that, so he drank cow's milk. It's my understanding that kids need the protein at least until the age of two. If he had continued breastfeeding, that wouldn't have been an issue. I just hope Eren continues breastfeeding until he's two, therefore we won't have to worry about that. For #2, my mother and MIL watch the boys while I'm at work four days per week. I am unsure they will be able to accept my lifestyle change as a change for my whole family.

Let's go ahead and mention digestive system improvement, regularity.

I haven't had a zit in awhile. But once again, that could be part of the postpartum journey. I never used to have bad acne til I started making babies... lol.

What do I still need to use up at home?

Beef & chicken bouillon cubes! Why did I buy so many of you?! I have two jars of each!

One jar of four cheese pasta sauce. Why?! I seriously haven't made spaghetti in two months?

Marshmallows and Swiss Miss hot chocolate?! I won't be going through any of that until it's not 100 degrees every damn day.

A bulk size ranch seasoning container in the pantry, right next to the bottle of local honey I bought like the week before I started my journey. 

One lonely can of tuna. Calvin liked tuna at one time. Now he just eats the saltines I serve it with...

When we go out, I order vegan food. I buy vegan stuff at the store. I'm not purchasing anything that's not vegan for myself and I'm not intentionally eating non vegan stuff at the house unless it's these items mentioned, just because I'm trying to get rid of them.

And I'm pretty sure that's about all we have left at home. So we're getting pretty close here! I'm excited to get all of these things used up so I can clamp down on the vegan variety in our house.

Thanks for reading!
Let me know about your journey to veganism and how your family reacted.

Love,
Alaina

Beginner Vegan : Should I Throw Out Non-Vegan and Cruelty Free Makeup?

Here is a random topic I have been contemplating since I completed my one week vegan challenge after Memorial Day weekend.

I've been transitioning my diet. We've been using up all the non-vegan food in our house and let me tell you, we're getting pretty close now. We finally used up some feta and mozzarella cheese in a lentil lasagna over the weekend and we've given away a LOT of random stuff. We had nearly two full packs of cheese snack sticks, two bottles of Parmesan, cream of chicken soup cans, tuna, and a bunch of other stuff. We also have some items that are going to take awhile to get through, such as the three jars of beef/chicken bouillon cubes in the cabinet! And I accidentally bought the wrong breadcrumbs a couple weeks ago and they totally have milk in them. It feels really wasteful to simply throw all this stuff out, so we've been using it up.

The thing what's occurred to me recently is, what am I supposed to do with all the non-vegan stuff I already own (that isn't food)? Like my makeup, hair products, shoes, etc.

I didn't think I owned any leather shoes, but it turns out my current favorite flats are leather. I just always thought leather was expensive and I don't buy expensive shoes, so I just assumed I didn't own any leather ones. Wrong. I just bought these while I was pregnant with Eren so they're pretty new and it feels like a waste to toss them out. Should I donate them and find a different pair? Should I just wear them until they're spent?

I do need to go through my shoe collection and donate stuff I don't wear anymore anyway. Since becoming a mother, I have come to appreciate functional footwear. I just don't have time for shoes in every color or any kind of heels or anything that isn't super comfy. I wear booties in the winter, sandals in the summer, and tennis shoes year round. I don't need much more than that.

I own a leather jacket that I literally wear once every other year. But I have this attachment to it. I really wanted it when I was in middle school and my parents got it for me for Christmas and it surprised the crap out of me because I know they spent a lot of money on it and they never got us big, expensive stuff like that. It just reminds me of that Christmas. And although I will probably never wear it again, I feel very conflicted about letting it go.

I have unused bottles of body wash and shampoo that are not cruelty free. I have so many hair products (that I really don't even use). I have a lot of makeup. (this blog used to center around makeup, so I own a lot of stuff) But isn't it wasteful to throw it all out? And what is it that bugs me, do I oppose the waste itself or the fact that I'm wasting money by throwing it away?

I wanted to get some new shorts recently. Instead of going to Ross or Target or whatever, we stopped by the Goodwill. And while yes, there are internal issues with the Goodwill corporation itself, at least I wasn't directly fueling the fast fashion world we live in. I bought two pairs of shorts for like $5 and I felt really happy.

My trusty, standard black Old Navy flip flops broke on the first day I put them on this year. They were probably five years old. So I "need" a new pair of black flip flops. I've been looking into vegan and more ethically made options. It's crappy though. Me, being a cheap skate, never spending over $30 on a pair of shoes. I look at this $2 pair of Old Navy flip flops, then I look online at $40 sandals and I'm like holy crap, is it really worth it?!

But I try to remind myself that it's all supply and demand. Every dollar you spend is a vote for a better world. If I apply that to my food choices, shouldn't I be applying it to my clothes and the rest of my life as well? I should be concerned about the working conditions of humans all over the world just as much as I am concerned for the animals who are enslaved to feed us.

Diet was pretty easy. But all of this other stuff is hard.

- Alaina

My Working Mom Morning

This morning I really didn't want to leave the kiddos. I didn't want to go to work and not see them all day. I sat on the couch with my oldest, thinking about freezing time still so I could just sit with him awhile longer. He curled up with me all lovey (an act he does less and less these days as he's a busy toddler with lots to do). I wished I didn't have to go get little brother ready, that I didn't have to gather all our things in the car and shuffle the boys out and off to grandma's.

I guess I just have phases like this. Sad and overwhelmed by life. I had one in the late summer of last year when I had been working five days a week instead of four. That took a toll on me. I missed my son so much that summer and I struggled a lot with working mom guilt.

This year I have two boys to miss. My littlest Eren is only four months old right now. It makes me jealous of moms in other countries who actually get decent maternity leave. I took eight weeks. And I used my vacation time, like 16 hours a week, I don't get actual paid maternity leave.

Breastfeeding, Working Mom

Sometimes I worry about my milk supply. I was consistent pumping at work for my oldest, Calvin, but I started running short around 11 months with him. I worry about the same thing happening with Eren. I pump 3x at work each day, but of course Eren's eating more than that. I just have to keep my fingers crossed it all evens out and I don't get behind because there are days in the office where I just can't get back to pump on time. There are busy days when half my coworkers are gone and I can't just remove myself. There are days when there are meetings in the conference room and no one lets me know so I can't schedule around them by pumping early or whatever. I have to pump before work some days just so I can make it to my first pumping session at work without engorgement.

I forgot to eat breakfast this morning. As I was loading the boys in the car, I even said to myself, "just go grab a banana from the counter," then I still forgot. I bring salads for lunch at work, very basic, nothing extravagant. Without breakfast, I'm going to be starving come dinnertime. But I can't run out to grab a lunch that would be more filling because I already take time out throughout the day for pumping.

And yes, I am very fortunate to have a great milk supply. And I am proud of myself for persevering through all the struggles I've had with both of my boys. It was not just a given. There were never any magical, perfect first latches like so many women talk about. It's hard, even the second time around, it may have been even harder than the first in some ways.

Working at Work, Working at Home

The work load of actually going to work and taking care of a house and family is overwhelming. I wake up, go to work, come home, do more work. Last night I was up later than I wanted to be just to wait for the dryer to finish our diaper laundry so I didn't have to fold it in the morning (and good thing I did because obviously I was running late this morning, I didn't even have time for breakfast).

I plan our entire month's dinners out at once, I go to the store, I go to the store again when I forgot an important ingredient, and again when we run out of milk and fruit and veggies. I cook dinner. I do some dishes (honestly my husband is really good about dishes). Laundry: the never-ending constant stream of laundry! Oh and speaking of never-ending; I feed the baby. When he is awake, he is perpetually attached to the boob, it seems. I come home to a cluttered kitchen and living room 5 of 7 days (Thursdays and Friday mornings I usually tidy up before I leave for work). Some weeks it feels like the whole house is in this impossible, messy limbo of toys and dishes. Seeing the clutter overwhelms me.

Many evenings when I get home with the children, our littlest wants to nurse and take a nap. If you've ever nursed a tired baby, you know full well that such a nursing session will take twice as long as a typical nursing session. He's not really drinking his milk, he just wants to be comforted to sleep. I understand and I do love it, knowing I'm the only one to comfort him in that way, and I try with all my might to enjoy those nursing sessions without worrying about the rest of the evening. But there are lots of things to do when I get home from work, like starting dinner. I like to start dinner when I get home with the boys. Justin gets home about 30 min after me, so I can have dinner ready as soon as he gets home. If I'm nursing Eren instead of making dinner, dinner is thrown off by 30 min, which throws off the entire night.

And on top of that, I try to get in some of my own mommy time, which is actually just more work: keeping up on my two YouTube channels. I have been putting out consistent content 3x per week for months now. I love the feeling of being consistent on my channels, but let me tell you, it's a whole 'nother work load altogether. I work on it in the evenings if I successfully get Eren to bed at the same time my husband is putting Calvin down. You know, after I worked all day at work, then came home, made dinner, probably did some laundry and cleaned up.

Just last night my husband was telling me that he felt sad lately. When I asked him why, I kind of already knew the answer because it's the same reason I've been feeling kind of sad lately too. He said it's because it's like every day is just a repeat of the day before. It's just this endless cycle of work at work, work at home, sleep, repeat. We're burnt out.
___

Maybe what we need is a vacation. Or maybe there’s nothing we can do about it and this is just life. I try to tell him it’s just a season. It’s hard when the babies are little. When Eren starts sleeping through the night, or moving around more, or eating solid food, or playing with his brother, maybe we’ll get more relaxation. But it hurts to even think such things. We wish away the baby months when we should just be enjoying our little ones in that moment.

Does it all come back around to the fact that I’m not able to take months of maternity leave? If I were at home all day with the children, all the household chores would be complete (well, let's just say mostly). We wouldn't have to spend every evening doing laundry. We wouldn't spend all weekend cleaning the bathrooms or grocery shopping. Would being a stay at home mom make any of this better? For either of us? Dinner would still need to be made. Dishes would still need to be done. The children would still need help going to bed. The baby would still wake in the middle of the night. 

I don't have any solutions. I guess I just needed to vent. Moms have it tough. Working or not. But motherhood is truly the best job there is, if you ask me.

___

Oh, and get this, when I got home from this day of missing my babies, I learned that my mother in law saw Eren roll from back to front for the first time today.

I missed Calvin's first steps when he was little too. 

Thanks for reading.

I love you guys!

I hope your day feels a little better than mine. 

Love,

Alaina

Calvin is TWO!

The sweet little boy who made me a mommy is turning two today. I cannot believe it. This past year especially has absolutely flown by.

He runs and climbs everywhere he desires. He was already such an independent boy and that continues in his playtime too. I can't wait for little brother to be big enough to play alongside him.

Speaking of little brother, it is amazing to see Calvin with him. He is always asking about "baby brother." He says "bless you, baby brother," when he sneezes. He gives him bedtime kisses and it's adorable.

He says "thank you, mommy," when I hand him something. He requests different foods. He opens up the fridge when he's hungry too (and sometimes leaves it open). He hugs me and says, "mmm, mommy." He walks around with his finger to his chin saying, "hmm." He will repeat pretty much anything you say.

He has started making little sentences like "tractor fall!" and "baby brother hungry?" It's really cool to see his vocabulary grow.

Lately he likes to chase the cat. He'll climb on the top of the couch to sit by her, follow her upstairs, corner her under the coffee table. Sometimes she swats at him when he's making her mad (she doesn't have her claws though).

He loves going outside. He LOVES tractors. He knows all his basic colors and can identify half the alphabet. He knows a lot of shapes. He even knows a pentagon from an octagon, but the hexagon has him stumped. He is such a smart little boy.

He's funny and clever and sneaky. He'll just stare at you as he does something he's not supposed to. Sometimes I have to hold back a smile or giggle when he is mischievous. He sucks at listening. He is very stubborn. It's totally true when they say "silence is suspicious."

He's not potty trained. We haven't made any progress with that, even though I try to let him run around naked every once in awhile and coax him to sit on the potty with promises of "candy beans" if he goes.

"Candy beans" are jelly beans and he totally got a kick out of Easter this year! He would come up to me and ask "find eggs?" for weeks after Easter was over.

He likes to brush his teeth. We just recently picked up some "elmo toothpaste" and it makes brushing so much more fun. He has three amber necklaces and likes to pick out which color he wants to wear for the day. Sometimes he lets me spike his hair with aloe vera gel, but it never stays put on this active little boy.

Speaking of hair, we went from our first big boy haircut around his first birthday, to a cute, long, grown-out hairdo, back to another short haircut right before baby brother was born. He looks so much older with his hair buzzed. I miss the long hair. And he hates haircuts. He is totally not a fan of the clippers.

His favorite breakfast is pancakes.
His favorite lunch is PBJ. He mostly just refers to this as "mlunch." I think he might mean "sandwich" or "lunch."
His favorite dinner? I couldn't tell you because he never eats it! That has been one of the biggest struggles recently. We got into a pattern of making him his own dinner usually, but this momma is fed up with making two meals. He needs to learn to eat regular food too and expand his taste buds, so we've been working on making him eat our food. It's hard. We waited too long and gave in too much and now we are paying for it. Haha. He's a picky little eater, that's for sure.

He likes to watch YouTube on the TV. We watch tractor videos and videos teaching colors and shapes.

He knows where Aunt Ry lives. The other day he walked all the way down to her house without anyone! He and Justin were outside and when Justin went looking for him, he was on her porch all the way down the street.

He already has a farmers tan going on. He had one last year too. Maybe I'll go order him some tank tops right now haha.

He will find the only patch of mud in the yard and stick his finger in it, walk over to show you his finger, and say "dirt." He stomps in puddles on the patio. He stomps in mud at the property. He loves his Papa's tractor and even has a little one just like it that he simply calls "green tractor." Justin even ordered him a battery powered tractor for his birthday! He's going to be so excited, I can't wait for the moment Justin shows it to him. Next year I think he'll get a trailer to tow little brother around in.

It's incredible how much he's grown this past year. I know I'll be saying this for years to come, but time really does fly. They grow up so fast. Before we know it, it will be little brother Eren's second birthday and Cal will be nearly four! It makes this momma's heart sad but excited to see what's to come.

Love,
Alaina

Working Mom Back to Work Day #2

Morning of day 2 back to work. Sorry it's so blurry!

This is the morning of my second day back to work. Both mornings have gone sooo much smoother than I was imagining. I thought for sure we would be late, both kids would cry all morning, nothing would go right, and I'd leave the grandma's breathing a huge sigh of relief I didn't have to deal with that all day!

But the mornings were great. I got Calvin ready first and Eren nursed well and was very pleasant while I packed everything up to leave. Justin even got to say good-bye to Cal both mornings because we were up so early to get ready. (Usually Justin leaves before Calvin is up) Last night, Eren even slept six hours straight, which was really nice because Sunday night Calvin was up at midnight with a bad dream and Eren woke up soon after we got Cal back down. Oh, the joys of motherhood. It's all about mastering how to function on so little sleep. 

I got to run by the store Monday after work and that was nice. Run in, run out, easy peasy.

One thing I do not miss is pumping at work. Three times per day, eating my lunch hunched over the pumping parts attached to my chest. That tingly feeling when you know you need to go pump but you're busy finishing other work. Worrying about how much you're producing and if the grandmas are overfeeding little mister. Motherhood is full of worry, no matter if you're with the kids all day or not.

I imagined this transition back to work like I was abandoning my babies for two years. Like I wouldn't see them again and they would be so big by then. (We plan for me to be a stay at home mom in a couple years) To imagine that my little Eren will be Calvin's age by the time I get to spend each and every day with them again breaks my little heart! I know the time will fly. It already has been going so fast. I can't believe Calvin will be TWO this Memorial Day weekend!

I didn't have a breakdown. I didn't cry. But I definitely was not overjoyed to leave them. I know they're in good hands, of course. I know the grandmas want to spend time with them and love on them too. And on the inside, even though I didn't want to admit it, I needed a break.

I am so fortunate to have Wednesdays off from my job. Only working four days a week is awesome and I would absolutely recommend to anyone facing working mom guilt to try and cut back at work if at all possible. I very truly believe it has helped me stay sane and not feel too strained and stretched thin. (I've had Wednesdays off since I returned to work after Calvin was born, except for last summer when I worked five days, which sucked super bad and almost threw me over the edge. You can read my mom guilt post that I wrote at the end of that summer here). The day off gives me the opportunity to keep up on the house a little, do diaper laundry (and all the other stupid laundry), and get to spend time with my littles. I get to spend a full day each week pretending I'm a stay at home mommy. That's truly how I view those days off. I just can't wait to be home with them all the time.

So although this is just week one of about 90 until I get to be with my babies all the time, I know we all need it on some level. They need to spend time with the grandmas to get to know and love them. The grandmas need it because grandmas just love grandbabies. And I need to feel like I'm contributing to the household in a financial sense and I guess you could say I do need a break from the munchkins sometimes too, even if I don't like to say that.

I hope things continue going smoothly and I hope this stupid working mom guilt starts to subside. Here's hoping it's just a first week back thing and it doesn't last too long.

Thanks for reading.
Love,
Alaina

18 in 2018 : Project Pan : Using Up Makeup I Already Have

If you saw my previous post, you might have seen this one coming too. 

I've created myself a little list of 18 makeup products that I want to use up in this next year. They are items I have forgotten about, products that I've owned way too long, things I use all the time, or stuff I love so much that I try to save them for special occasions. 

The special occasion items are the ones I really need to work on. They are products I cherish so much that I hardly get enough use out of them to make them worth the price tag! They'll go bad before I even get to enjoy the whole thing. And what a waste that is! 

Special Occasion 

MAC Prolongwear Concealer

Collection Concealers

The forgotten items seem to make up a big bulk of my collection these days. When I go to declutter and throw things out, these are ones I just can't seem to get rid of, yet haven't been using enough.

Forgotten Stuff

Kat Von D Lock It Foundation Medium

Benefit Boing Concealer

Kat Von D Setting Spray

Kat Von D Autograph Pencil

Maybelline Master Fix Loose Powder

Loreal True Match Powder

Flower Beauty Stick Foundation

EM Bronze Kiss Eyeliner

Pacifica Alight BB Cream

These are items I love. I want to be able to say I've used it up. I want to be able to say yes, I loved it, and I got my money's worth by using every last bit of it. 

Stuff I Love

UD All Nighter Foundation

CosRx Make Me Lovely Cream 

Pony Effect Eye Primer

Colourpop Cry Baby Eyeliner 

Flower Concealer

Maybelline Concealer 

Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick Lolita 

I hope this inspires you to take a second look at your collections, whether it's makeup or something else. This year I want to focus on using what I have and not buying new stuff. 

Watch the video here for more details.

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Alaina

No Buy 2018 : Buying Zero Makeup

If you follow this blog regularly and have been for years, you just might have read the title of this post and said "wtf?" to yourself. Or you saw this coming. You have seen my makeup reviews dwindle since becoming a mother over a year and a half ago anyway. My priorities have simply changed. In 2017, I believe I spent the least amount of money on makeup that I have since before 2012 when I first started to really build my collection.

I moved my makeup collection/YouTube studio into my bedroom in May 2017. Ever since then, I've been slowly decluttering and purging makeup I don't use. I've been reducing my stash and realizing it's all just stuff. A couple years ago, it broke my heart to throw something out, but I have come to see that there are way too many things in my collection that I literally don't use. Reading and watching stuff on minimalism has had an effect. Not that I plan to be a real minimalist one day, I just find the lifestyle very inspiring and useful for everyday life. Just the whole world view that minimalists have makes me start to see the error in our super-consumerism society.

So how did I get here?

Step 1:
I had been watching Project Pan-ing videos and came across a "makeup no buy year" video that got my interest. The concept seemed impossible when I first opened that video up.
Lauren Mae's 18 in 2018 Project Pan Video
Too Much Tash's Not Buying Makeup for 1 Year Completed Video

(sorry for the sloppy handwriting)

Step 2:
After watching it, I sat down and did some makeup basics inventory. I counted how many concealers, mascaras, powders, etc. I have and I realized, if I ever wanted to completely use these things up, I would need to avoid new makeup at all costs for at least a year. I saw that I had enough of the basics to go an entire year without buying anything new. Even if I wore a full face of makeup every single day, I probably still wouldn't get through all of these items.

Step 3:
Then I wondered how much money I spent in the last year on makeup. My husband and I have been sticking to a very good budget since May 2017. We use an app to track our purchases in different categories, so I had at least eight months of makeup purchases recorded. I added all that up, used it to calculate what I probably spent Jan.-April and discovered that I probably only spent about $200 last year anyway. And I told myself I could totally save that money and use up the stuff I already have in 2018. That $200 both sounded like a big and very small number at the same time. I know there are people who spend that every month and I know there are people who've probably only spent that in their lifetime on makeup. But for me, it's a serious reduction from what I had spent in years prior.

Step 4:
So I figured I would talk about it. I'd put it out there on social media to motivate myself and hold myself accountable.

The whole thing that got me started on this blog was makeup, so it's a little strange to be saying I'm not buying any for a whole year. This blog now covers a variety of topics. It has changed and grown like I have. This is a weird challenge that I'm setting myself up for, but I think it's necessary to challenge ourselves sometimes. I hope you understand.

Thank you for reading!
Love,
Alaina

Meal Plan with Us! January 2018

Meal planning has made life so much easier for us!
And it's seriously helped us in the budget department too.
We plan out about a month at a time. (We started with two weeks at a time in the beginning though because it totally takes practice to remember each ingredient you need and not have to make emergency trips to the grocery store for one single important item. I can definitely tell you we've gotten way better than we were in the beginning. We started in May last year.)

We go to the store once per month for our big grocery trip. Well, we go to two different stores. We go to Aldi and get everything we possibly can, then hit up Walmart for the remaining stuff. It still blows my mind how much we save by getting as much as possible at Aldi first!

Now that's not to say that's the only time we go to the store. We usually run out of milk somewhere in the middle of the month or somebody craves a particular item. We always end up going to the store for a handful of items later on, BUT the big shopping trip is taken care of in the first few days of the month.

We don't always stick to this schedule super strictly, especially since I'm pregnant and have cravings and aversions haha. I go through and cross off the meals we've already made for this reason. In case one night comes along and I'm like "holy crap, I do not want that for dinner!" we can choose another meal and switch.

Sorry for the sloppy writing, this is #RealLife right here.
Also, please don't get confused by the word "Saturday" at the top left hand corner, that's just a magnet.
:)

Tips for only going to the store once per month:
1. Plan meals with fresh produce for the first half of the month.
For some, this is impossible. Maybe your "milk run" turns into a mid-month veggie run. We do keep some mixed vegetables frozen for sides though.

Meals that need fresh ingredients

Tacos (lettuce)

Philly cheesesteak (onion, pepper)

Italian chicken sandwiches (lettuce)

Buffalo chicken wrap (lettuce)

Quesadillas (bacon, onion, pepper)

Chicken nachos (lettuce)

2. Think of ways you can use leftovers or main ingredients in the same week.
Example: Roast on Saturday turns leftover roast meat into Beef and Broccoli on Monday
3. Make a list of all the meals your family likes so you can easily just glance at the list and choose what day to put meals on. We keep a list divided into a few categories so we can pick and chose which meals will work best on which days of the week, since some days just allow for more cooking time than others.

Easy meals, no prep

Hot dog mac

Sausage crescents

Grilled cheese

Breakfast for dinner

Full Crockpot meals

Crockpot chicken & potatoes

Chicken & dumplings

Potato soup

Chili

Stew (carrots)

Roast (carrots)

Pulled pork on hoagies

Partial Crockpot Meals

Beef & broccoli (frozen)

Enchiladas

Ranch chicken taquitos

Regular meals (need prep)

Orange chicken & rice

Sloppy joes

Beef potato casserole

Burgers

Spaghetti

Baked pasta

Pasta con broccoli

Shrimp pasta

Lasagna

Taco casserole

Fried chicken & potatoes

Buffalo chicken flatbread

Breakfast pizza

4. Throw in a couple new recipes each month if you're feeling up to it, or if you're getting bored with the same stuff. I find it just keeps things interesting. It makes meal planning feel less monotonous. Chicken Ranch Taquitos was our new recipe for this month.
5. Plan to make big dishes over the weekend when you have time. Then use the leftovers during the weeknights when time is a little more scarce.
Example: Lasagna on Saturday turns into leftover Lasagna on Monday

So I really hope this was helpful and you were able to take a little bit of advice from it. Happy meal planning!

Love,
Alaina

Old Wives Tales Gender Prediction Baby #2

Just for fun, I figured we would look into the old wives tales regarding gender prediction. I did the same sort of thing when I was pregnant with Calvin. The totals said he was supposed to be a girl haha, so we know this is all just for fun!

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Morning Sickness - yes - GIRL

Baby's Heart-rate - 160 - GIRL

Cravings - Salty - BOY

Sleeping on - left side - BOY

Beauty - Glowing - BOY

Skin - soft - GIRL

Headaches - yes - GIRL

Attitude - Pleasant - BOY

Chinese Calendar - GIRL

Mayan Calendar - GIRL

Ramzi Method - GIRL

GIRL - 7

BOY - 4

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I've personally been feeling GIRL lately, even though the moment I knew I was pregnant I was convinced it was a boy. 

We should have our Sneak Peek results this week. I know there are conflicting thoughts on the validity of that test, but we will have to see! I guess nothing is confirmed until that baby pops out. :)

Love,

Alaina & Tiny Baby #2

Adventures in Budgeting

I understand everyone's financial situation is unique. We are a family of three living in the St. Louis, MO area. This is just what we do and I thought the numbers might be helpful for someone out there.

I've never tried to stick to a real budget ever before in my life, but Justin and I have made it a goal this summer to do so. Starting in May, we've set out this general budget for our family each month. May was the first month and that was the only month we went over (-$23).

We started this with the intention to use it as practice for once I am a stay at home mom (still probably a couple years down the line), just to see if we could make it work. It has been our little experiment for the summer. We're unsure if it's going to become part of our everyday life or not.

Some stuff to note:

We did some concrete and yard work over the summer, but we did not include any of that in the budget. We considered that a one time cost and not an everyday thing.

We also don't include our mortgage, which is probably strange to most people. The mortgage is not just another bill to us. It is the primary payment we make. Everything extra goes toward it.

We have no other debt. No student loans, no credit card debt, no car payments, etc.

Here are our general categories, but we don't strictly stick to them, they're just a way for us to kind of monitor what's going on, more like guidelines.

$400 groceries
$250 gas
$130 power
$155 entertainment
$100 car insurance
$65 internet
$50 water
$50 gifts
$50 kid stuff

"Total survival budget": $1250

It just really goes to show you how much we were spending on totally unnecessary junk. Reading a lot of minimalism articles and tidbits on Pinterest has helped me change my outlook too. We are not minimalist, I totally don't ever think I could do it, but the concepts have really helped me in this time of change.

Since implementing the budget, I feel like we both think more about our purchases. I do not feel like we're missing out on life by sticking to this. We still get out and do things. For me personally, I ask myself if something is truly necessary before buying. I still treat myself every once in awhile, but I'm not heading to Target "just to walk around" when I'm bored anymore.

I hope this is helpful in some way. I hope it helps to see actual numbers, even though it's different for every family and location.

Love,
Alaina

Our Fourth of July "Weekend"

Here's how we spent our 4th of July weekend.

We didn't really do anything overly patriotic, but spent time with our families. 

Out at my dad's property on the other side of town we found a turtle crossing the road and had to check it out. Calvin kept calling it a kitty, he thinks all animals are kitties, even some inanimate objects too. :)

Apparently the woods were too interesting to take a family photo. 

We finally got our patio finished! I'll show pics once the grass hopefully starts coming in. So we had a little fire out on our new patio with Justin's side of the family. We shot off a few fireworks.

And for the Fourth, Cal's cousins came over and they all attempted to play in the little kiddie pool. The girls thought Cal would look cute with these nice bows in his hair. :)

It was supposed to be a nice relaxing "four day weekend" but we ended up doing a lot of yard work. Justin had Monday off and I had to work. 

We graded, seeded, and strawed the backyard after finally getting our patio finished. I can't wait to have grass! It's been dirt for what feels like forever. 

Don't forget to follow me on Instagram, where I post way too often! :)

Thanks for reading!

Love,

Alaina

Random Little Life Update + TTC Soon?!

Since Justin and I are planning to start trying for baby #2 in the next couple months, I had a few questions for my doctor. I went to my annual OB/Gyn appointment yesterday and let me tell you guys, I am just so happy to let you know that I got all the answers I wanted to hear from her!

(Justin never smiles for pictures)

Here's what I asked her:
When I get pregnant again do I need to stop breastfeeding my son?
Since my son was born via c-section, does that mean I'm destined to always have c-sections from here on out?
What is the likelihood of having PROM (premature rupture of membranes) again?

She said I could continue breastfeeding throughout my pregnancy and could even tandem nurse once new baby is here! I don't see myself tandem nursing, but who knows, I'm just glad she is supportive of it if we do decide to continue into pregnancy.
She said she would like to see me try for a VBAC since we want a large family, so long as things progress normally, especially if the next baby is looking smaller than Calvin was (Calvin was 8 lbs 6 oz when he was born at 37 weeks, so who knows how big he would have grown if he went those extra couple weeks and he was gaining about .5 lbs per week in the last few weeks).
And she essentially said PROM was a fluke and not to assume it would happen again. She did say they would monitor things more next time around just in case it happens again, but not to worry about it. The high risk doctor who did my c-section with Calvin had told me I'd have a 1 in 4 chance of it happening again. With Justin and I wanting four kids, we just hoped that Calvin was that 1 in 4 and we're safe!

So I heard everything I wanted to hear. I'm so glad I got these issues out of the way before trying for baby #2. I cried at the hospital when they decided it was time for a c-section. I was terrified of the idea of having to have four c-sections! I am so glad my doctor is giving me the opportunity to try again next time! Of course, anything can happen, but I'm just glad to have this worrisome weight lifted off my shoulders now! :)

I've had baby fever for a few months now, but we decided we wanted to wait to avoid having a baby around the holidays. And with the chance of having PROM again and baby perhaps coming earlier than anticipated, we essentially have put in a two month buffer, so we are shooting for a February or later due date.

And my period returned just in time! I was very worried about that. I thought it would come down to having to choose breastfeeding or conceiving baby #2. We are very fortunate that my period returned right around 9 months, so we have a few cycles for my body to hopefully regulate a little before we get to start trying.

And we can't wait to start trying for baby #2! Mr. Calvin is growing up so fast. Seriously. He took 9 steps last night. Nine! He's not a baby anymore! I'm both so excited and so saddened by his upcoming birthday (May 27). So many mixed emotions here in this momma!

Thanks for reading!
Love,
Alaina

Latest Video Uploads! LainasLife & Lainamarie91

Guys, I was super productive this weekend! Check it out! I edited two videos during one naptime! Haha. This is #momlife. 

I put up my Latest Vlog from this past Wednesday at home with Calvin on my mommy channel. Plus a Roxie's Baby Everything Blanket video for my regular channel to remind people that I'm still here and hopefully draw some viewers over to my vlog channel if they're interested in the mommy side of things.

I hope this little weekend of motivated effort will continue to give me momentum.

Love,
Alaina

P.S.
Calvin is army crawling!

A Random Little Update - Where's the makeup?

Some of you may be wondering what the heck is going on? I haven't posted a makeup look or review of a makeup product or really anything not mommy related in soo long! And I have to be totally honest, during my pregnancy I never would have predicted I'd get so far off course after Calvin's birth. I was doing okay while I was on my maternity leave (for 8 weeks): YouTube allowed me to have a little something to do during the week. But since going back to work, I just don't feel the urge to film or work on any of that stuff.

I only work four days a week. I spend most of my day off doing laundry and making baby food, in addition to hanging out with Cal. When Cal is awake, I want to spend time with him and while he's sleeping I have other stuff to do. On the weekends I like to relax and spend time with my husband while Calvin naps. So it's partially not having the time, but more so just wanting to spend my time in other ways than before.

At his 6 month check up

I used to film every weekend. I'd film a tutorial or GRWM video while I put on my makeup, then film another random video afterwards, and finish it off with my weekly pregnancy update. Then later on I'd edit or wait until the following day. That's when I had two videos per week. On maternity leave I felt that one video per week was reasonable and I accomplished that for awhile. But ever since returning to work I would just rather spend my time doing other things. And I know that it's a rut and I'll get back to it in good time, but it is hard to get out of a rut like this. It's hard to get back into filming and editing after being very inconsistent for a long time. But I want to! I want to get back into it, I just need to figure out how much time is reasonable and when I can take advantage of my time.

And let's be honest here, I haven't even hunted for makeup or browsed the makeup aisles in a long time either. That's a thing I just don't have time for. I don't have the time or patience to run to half a dozen stores searching for a new product. I'm not about to get Calvin in and out of the car that many times for a couple hours lol. Calvin is a big boy, he's been in the 90-something-th percentile for his weight and height since his first month check up. And I'm not as strong as I could be ha. Not about to lift that car seat and carry it around just to walk into Walgreens and not find what I'm looking for ten times lol. Don't get me wrong, I still do my makeup six out of seven days a week, but I just don't feel the desire to spend a ton of money on it anymore. I still love applying my makeup, I love wearing bright lips, colorful eyes, or just the bare minimum. It's a very strange thing for me. I just feel guilty to be working on YouTube stuff when I could be playing with Calvin. Plus I just plain need some inspiration. I think that's part of it too. I need to find a new product to test out or something to get me back into the makeup world and report back to you on.

Anyway, I know this was random, but I just wanted to give a little update, maybe guilt myself into some kind of inspiration or motivation. Hopefully I will see you guys soon!

I love you guys,
Alaina

5 Month Old Baby Update : The 4 Month Sleep Regression is Real!

Happy 5 month birthday to my baby boy (tomorrow)!

According to our rough measurements, Mr. Calvin is about 19.5 pounds and 27.5 inches tall. Essentially, he is a giant. His big ole thighs are almost too big to fit in the Bumbo and his swing barely even swings anymore when he's in it, not matter what setting we have it one, it sways maybe four inches wide. And everyone always thinks he's so much older than he is so they are surprised when we say he isn't even crawling yet. Haha.

He is talking a lot lately. He likes to babble about (like in the car seat when he's tired, he just talks to himself lol). And he screams in excitement. Haha. Sometimes those screams scare me, I didn't realize that such a tiny baby could make such a high pitched screechy noises.
When he wakes up he'll usually just babble to himself in his crib for a few minutes before he starts whining for us to get him.
He really enjoys music. He likes to sit in the Bumbo in the kitchen while I listen to music, sing, and make dinner. He especially loves it when I hold him and sing and dance with him too.
He has been trying to escape his Bumbo. He leans really far and tries to fall out. He also plays with his feet a lot while in there. So he's kind of discovered his feet, but he doesn't really notice them in other daily activities.
He finally watches the cats.
He's been in size 3 diapers for awhile now and gradually starting to grow out of several 3-6 month clothing items. I just wish sizes were consistent among different brands! It feels like he's only been able to wear each onesie he owns like once or twice. We got a lot of stuff handed down to us so I don't feel like it's too much of a waste, but it does make me feel guilty that he has so many clothes that don't get nearly enough wear out of them. Good thing we want lots of kids! Haha.
He had his first sleepover! He stayed overnight at Grandma's (who lives literally right around the corner from us) and we went to get him first thing in the morning at like 7 am. I still woke up around 3 am just out of habit I guess (plus my boobs were like super engorged). It wasn't the magical dreamy sleep I had envisioned, I missed the baby. He's staying with my sister again this coming weekend, we have a Halloween party to attend and I plan on partying it up hardcore. Haha.
He's been trying new foods. We've been working on butternut squash this week and he really doesn't seem to be a fan unless we mix it with something sweet like apple or peach, but we're still working on it! I made something like 60 ounces of food from one butternut squash so he has to eat it!
He's moving about in his walker pretty well. He can go across the room when he's on a hard surface, not so much the carpet. He goes forward in our walker and backward in Grandma's walker.
He's rolling over like a champ. Both directions. He actually seems to be much better at rolling from back to tummy than tummy to back. With this, he'll almost always be facing a different direction when he wakes up from when you laid him down to sleep. He rotates all over his crib now. Some nights he'll even get his legs stuck through the crib spindles and scream at the top of his lungs to wake mom and dad to the assumption someone is murdering our baby. We've discussed getting bumpers.

___________________________________

As for me and my postpartum journey, there are days that I'm really happy with how I look in certain clothes and there are days I just don't even want to get dressed because nothing suits me right. I want to be back at my pre-pregnancy weight already! I am about 12 pounds away at this point (but only 9 pounds from my goal. I made my goal an even number because it seemed more reasonable and attainable to me. I was 127 when I found out I was pregnant, my goal is 130, and I'm currently 139). But it's not even about the numbers man, it's about the fact that I can only wear one pair of my pre-pregnancy jeans, my rings are still tight some days, and I can't wear my favorite baggy sweaters comfortably. It's those damn thighs and upper arms man! Those stupid body parts are what have me going nuts! I can deal with a squishy belly for now, it's almost winter after all. But I gained a LOT of weight guys. I don't even know how much, but it was probably well over 50 pounds. I was around 155 when I got home from the hospital I'm pretty sure. 

It may be in vain but I really really don't want to gain that kind of weight next time around! 

I'm not going to lie, I expected breastfeeding to be a much more magical weight-loss assistant. I really did expect to be totally back to normal, lookin' good by the 6 month mark easy and I just don't envision myself losing the last ten pounds in one month's time...

And in other news, I've been very fortunate to not have suffered with any postpartum depression thus far. I did have what I would call baby blues in the beginning. I felt like such a failure for having a c-section and not being able to breastfeed normally because Cal wouldn't latch (and stay latched) and we had to use a nipple shield for the first two months. But I can honestly say that I have come to terms with those things and realize that I am the best mom I can be! I gave breastfeeding my all and we have become very successful at it, it truly is just second nature to us now. And I feel so blessed that it worked out for us in the end and I pray every day that I can continue and that my milk supply holds up so that we can nurse for as long as we are both happy to do so. And this past month I have truly been able to bask in the happiness that is motherhood, despite what I thought were failures to begin with. I love being Calvin's mom. 

___________________________________

Now for the big event of the month: the DREADED 4 month sleep regression. My sister said she did not remember experiencing this with her girls but let me tell you Calvin sure had it bad! It lasted about two weeks and it SUCKED. I thought we were all going to kill each other: me, Cal, and Justin. He would fight sleep so terribly. He hated nap time, he hated bedtime. He cried and cried and nothing consoled him, not even the boob. We rocked him and swayed him and put him in the swing and drove around in the car and let him cry in the crib, but every night sometime between 6-8 pm he flipped the f out. And sometimes for his early afternoon nap around 1-3 pm too! And along with the delightfulness before bedtime, he went back to waking up twice in the night instead of his usual one time. But honestly, that didn't really bother me, and it definitely wasn't as terrible as his fits before bed.
AND get this! It just so happened to coincide pretty closely with our great idea to take away the binky! We took away the binky and just a couple days later totally psycho Calvin emerged. We had already come so far in those couple of days, we couldn't turn back now. So we did the whole 4 month sleep regression without the binky and we survived! When they say "it's just a phase" and "this too shall pass," they mean it. It will be okay. In the midst of it all you feel like running away and abandoning your baby with Grandma for two weeks, but you can do it! I promise.

And if your baby does not have this problem, consider yourself the luckiest parents in the world!

______________________________________

So in conclusion, that baby is growing up so fast! This month it has really become apparent that he's not going to be a baby forever, he'll be a toddler in the blink of an eye. And that makes this momma sad. But at the same time, it is super cool to see all the new things he is learning to do. Like holy crap, babies grow and learn so quickly! All the information that is flooding that little baby head is just crazy to even think about! 

Thanks for reading!
Love,
Alaina