I am much more open about breastfeeding on social media. I don't have a problem with posting pictures of me and Calvin breastfeeding on Instagram in particular. I post links all day on my personal Facebook about breastfeeding, but I haven't posted a picture of us there. I don't have a problem feeding him with my close family around: my sisters, nieces, mom and dad, but when it comes to attending a birthday party for Justin's side or shopping at Walmart, I bring a bottle.
Sometimes I feel guilty about bringing a bottle. Why can't I just feed him like usual? Why am I not brave enough? I feel guilty because it seems like Calvin eats so much better at the breast. He seems to calm down better and relax more. If he's also tired, it helps him rest or fall asleep.
I want to be able to just whip it out and feed my baby no matter where we are or who is there. My main worries are douche-face people who have dumb-ass comments to make, making people I know uncomfortable, and now that Calvin is older, him not being able to focus and showing my nipple off to everyone haha. The number one of which is making people I know uncomfortable. I just remember when Cal was a very tiny baby, Justin's brother came over. I knew he was coming, so I put a nursing scarf on to cover up. His brother walked in and said, "oh, is this a bad time?" It made him uncomfortable even when I had a cover on. And we don't use a cover like ever. So what happens if we go to a birthday party for one of his kids and I whip it out to feed Mr. Cal with zero cover on?
Then I think, next time I'll do it differently. Next baby I'll not give two craps from the very start. I'll have a crazy toddler to worry about too, I won't have time to pump and make a bottle before we go somewhere, or pump when we return to make up for missed feedings or whatever. Next time it will be different.
And then I think to myself, why wait?
It's the new year, might as well come up with some kind of resolution, right? And God willing, we're only about halfway through with our breastfeeding journey anyway, we still have plenty of time to get used to feeding everywhere, plenty of time to take advantage of it, it's not too late. I pray we have many more months of breastfeeding to go!
So here it is ladies and gentlemen: we are on our journey toward breastfeeding everywhere! I don't see this as an overnight change, but a gradual transition, and hopefully putting it there for the internet to see will help keep me motivated and feel accountable.
I love you guys!
Alaina
